Yikes... this morning so many friends, family members and people are calling me to see if I'm alright as they heard a rumor that I was arrested and jailed for sponsoring a bride from Laos...haaaaaa...this rumor is completely untrue, unreal and so not even close to anything that I'd even considered or stand for. Let's help me put this untrue rumor aside and focus on how all of us modern and young Hmong can do to help all Hmong in all corners of the world including those young Hmong children from Laos. The rumor stated that I was involved in an illegal sponsoring of a bride from Laos is completely untrue and against everything that I stand for. I love my wonderful wife and 4 of our children very much and would not even dare to do anything like that. I have a large and extended families living in several continents or should I say countries. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated rumor has forced me to do so. Please help me to shut this sort of rumors and help to build a credible Hmong society again.

PLEASE READ….I THINK IT IS WORTH SHARING…..

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served
dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She
sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly
I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her
anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I
drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then
tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with
me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources
and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall
how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had
any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His
words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room,
then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I
lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman
who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and
sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I
didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month
slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit
me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came
in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him,
seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part
of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like
our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her
in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change
my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,
Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me,
astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She
said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't
value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other
any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,
I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These
create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness
in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those
little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage!