PHAYA NORAPAMOK GENERAL 

VANG PAO 1929-2011

Yawg Hlob Nai Phoo Vaj Pov

Grand Officer of the Order of the Million Elephants and the White Parasol.

Commander of the US Legion of Merit

Knight of the French Legion d'Honneur

Grand Officer of the Thai Order of the White Elephant

Medal for Combatants from King Sisavang Vong

Medal of the Reign of King Sisavang Vatthana

French Croix de la Guerre des Operations Exterieures, four bronze stars and 1 bronze palm

French Foreign Legion Indochina Vietnam Colonial Medal

French Foreign Legion Indochina Campaign Dien Bien Phu

In honoring the Honorable Phaya Norapamok General Vang Pao on this day of January 6th (the day he passed away in Clovis on Jan 6, 2011), here's a special poem for your pleasure reading. I hope you read Hmong or find a Hmong friend to read it for you.  Why honoring him you may ask? Because he is the father of the Hmong People. His extraordinary journey changed the destiny of the Hmong People in including me. I would be sitting here blogging to you without this great man. Hmong will forever remember him for many reasons, but one thing for sure is his undeniable love for his people. AND, here's the poem goes: 

Ntuj nis peb yawg hlob Vaj Pov…

Thaum peb hnov txog koj tsab xo

Tias koj tso peb haiv hmoob tseg

Siab dhua rhe npaum li xob tua

Lub kua muag ntws los tshaj dej

Koj puas paub tias peb nco koj

Tsis xav noj thiab tsis xav haus

Xyov yuav xaus lub neej li cas

Nco koj tas npaum li no nas

Tej mi hav nroj ntsuag ntsuab xiab

Ua peb siab nyob kho siab khuav

Peb tseem tuav koj txoj kev hlub

Tsis tau pub nws ploj mus li

Ntuj os me yawg hlob Vaj Pov

Koj puas hnov txog peb lub suab

Thaum ntuj nqhuab thiab tshav ntuj nrig

Koj tus plig nws puas paub txog

Hais tias yog peb seev txog koj

Nco tsis ploj hauv peb nruab siab

Tag ib txhiab thiab tag ibtxhis

Peb yuav tsis hnov qab koj li

Thov koj tig txoj kev tshua rov

Tig los hnov lub suab seev cuag

Koj cov ntsuag nyob rau tom qab

Hnov suab sab txog koj thaum twg

Txawm yuav pw los tsis tsis tsaug zog

Tsuas yog zaum tsheej pab pawg quaj

Vim yog nco txog tej kev hlub

Niaj hnub qhub txog tej txiaj ntsim

Uas koj tsim cia rau haiv neeg

Es yuav seev koj txog tav twg  

Li lub lwg mam li peem tsheej

Ua lub neej Hmoob li yav dhau los

Ntuj nis peb hlob Nai Phoo

Thov koj tso koj tej koob hmoo

Tej kev zoo rau peb haiv Hmoob

Kom peb Hmoob tsuas muaj loj hlob

Zoo li tsob ntoo loj zuj zus

Zoo li dej ntws tsis txawj tu

Kom lub plhu nyob tshiab li khi

Nyob luang ntxhi thiab tsis muaj mob

Ruaj npaum cob thiab loj npaum roob

Kom haiv Hmoob muaj zoo lawm xwb.

Tab sis peb yawg hlob Vaj Pov,

Zaum no koj tso tag haiv neeg

Nyob ua neeg lub siab khoob lug

Txij koj nrug dua ntawm peb lawm

Lub sijhawm zoo li raug nres

Txawm daus te yuav pauv tsawg tom

Los tseem pom koj lub ntsej muag

Pom tseeb cuag li yog nag hmo

Thaum koj nrog peb nyob luag ntxhi

Los kuamuag nws yeej tseem nrog

Vim xav txog tus neeg peb hlub

Thov koj pub ib lub sijhawm

Es yog txawm yog hauv npau suav

Los peb yuav zoo siab tos txais

Tsuav tau hais qhia tau ib lo

Tias peb nco koj npaum li cas

Xav piav tas peb txoj kev hlub

Tawm hauv lub siab Hmoob ntsuag

Xav kom tuav tau koj txhais tes

Thiab nyob ze li thaum yav tas

Ntawm koj npab hauv koj xub ntiag

Txawm ib pliag xwb los yeej kam

Tsuav tau tham txog txoj kev nco

Tshe ntau hmo yuav piav tsis tas

Tabsis mas peb yeej paub lawm

Tias sijhawm tig tsis tau rov

Tus uas hnov kuv tej lus hais

Ces qhov rais qhov rooj lub tog

Thiaj li yog tus uas paub tshaj

Hauv lub txaj peb tej hauv ncoo

Lawv paub zoo peb kev mob siab

Kuamuag iab ntxaum lawv txhua hmo

Txoj kev nco lawv thiaj piav tau

Tias nco dhau nws zoo li cas

Yog piav mas ntshe lub qhov rais

Nws yuav hais qhia rau koj tias

Peb yeej ntsia txoj me hauv kev

Ntsia los ntev yog nws txawj yaig

Tshe twb yaig ua roob ua hav

Xav tias tas txoj kev cia siab

Tsis nco thiab tsis tos koj lawm

Los thaum tawm rooj plaws pom luag

Muaj tus coj thiab muaj us qhia

Peb lub siab nco koj dua ntxiv

Peb leej txiv koj koj txoj kev hlub

Zoo li hnub yuav yuav tig ua hmo

Yuav cas nco koj txog ntua

Thiaj yuav tsis nco tsis nco qab hais

Thiaj tau txais txoj kev zoo siab

Tawm xyoo tshiab thiab xaus xyoolaus

Tsaw xaus los peb nco koj

Txoj kev nco tseem nyob li qub

Tseem niaj hnub xav txog koj xwb

Yog koj rov tsis tau tiam no

Lwm tiam ho puas yuav rov dua

Lub vam huam sib luag puas yuav muaj lawm

Tshe tias txawm pes tsawg tiam los

peb yuav tos koj xwb ib leeg

Nyob ua neeg yog tsis muaj koj

Ces peb yeej tsis paub yuav nyob ua ntsuag li lawm peb yawg hlob Nai Phoon Vaj Pov….

19 Things Everyone Should Master by Age 40

(From Yahoo "Work & Money")

Well, no secret now that I turned 40's. I've learned a lot about life in general, have experienced the true beauty of human kindness as well as the bitterness of human injustice toward the human own races. From my personal life, my cycle of close colleagues and friends to the top leaders of my chain; I've learned that everyone has a lot to offer...Since I'm not a good writer and can't put my thoughts into words to inspire you, here's an article from Yahoo.com under the "Work & Money" section that you might have missed. It's for folks who turned 40's or will turn 40's someday. 

1. How to Delegate

Make certain the people around you have good values, good judgment, and are loyal. Allow them to impress you but be sure they're comfortable coming to you for feedback. Most important, hire people smarter than you!

--Ivanka Trump, executive VP, Trump Organization; principal of Ivanka Trump fashion and accessories lines

2. How to Comfort Someone

We're a block from a hospital, so in my 31 years here I've met many people who've just received bad news. If you see someone in distress, don't hesitate to talk to them. Once you've heard their story, sometimes all you have to say is "I'll be thinking of you." Your words are more powerful than you think.

--Jimmy Vecere, bartender at 12th Street Irish Pub, Philadelphia 

3. How to Spot a Good Opportunity 

A lot of people ask me how I knew Mad Men or Breaking Bad would make great TV. I knew because when I read those scripts, I felt something. I didn't do any market testing or focus groups--I just asked myself, Would I want to watch this? When you're weighing an opportunity, make the question that simple: "Do I really want this, or am I doing it for the money or the prestige or because I think I should?" It can't just be about those things. It has to make you feel good, too. And by the way, if opportunities aren't knocking, you can make your own. When I was looking for work several years ago, I took everyone I knew in New York, where I'd just moved, to dinner or drinks or tea. I explained that I was open to anything. Six months later, one of those dinner dates called about a possible job at AMC. If I hadn't put myself out there, that never would have happened.

--Christina Wayne former senior VP at AMC, current president of Cineflix Studios, and an executive producer of the new BBC America series Copper

4. How to Make Conversation at Parties 

First, get a drink. If it's a cocktail, it'll loosen you up, but even if it's just club soda, it's good to have a prop to hold if you're feeling nervous. Next, approach someone--a person, not a group--and ask how he or she knows the host. After that, be authentic and interested and ask questions, and others will float over and join in. A good host will have considered the mix of people, so when you arrive, ask, "Who should I meet?" Most important: Even if you won't know anyone and you're feeling intimidated, you must go. Do not stay home. So many people are afraid that no one will talk to them and they'll leave feeling awful--but has that ever happened to you? Me, neither. Usually I end up laughing and eating and drinking and making friends, and that's what it's all about.

--Marjorie Gubelmann CEO of Vie Luxe and society hostess extraordinaire 

5. How to End a Friendship 

Be clear that you need distance, but avoid getting into specifics. You might say, "I've realized I need to take a break from our friendship. I have so much going on in my life right now, and I need to take more time for myself." Now isn't the time to try to change your friend or teach her a lesson. (If you believed you could see things the same way, you wouldn't be breaking up in the first place.) Above all, be sure you want to break up. It's unlikely you'll ever be able to return to the same level of intimacy.

--Irene S. Levine, PHD, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend 

6. How to Stay in Touch

I don't often get to see or even talk to my closest friends from various stages of life (including the 16 who were my bridesmaids). But I stay connected with them--and the thousands of others in my BlackBerry. The key is managing your friending: The more organized and accessible your friends' information, the easier it is to stay in touch. So you have to set calendar reminders for birthdays (I do it for anniversaries, too), and keep your address book up-to-date. And when someone pops into your mind, let them know, even if it's just with a "Thinking of you" text. Don't let the moment pass; treat it as a reminder to reach out.

--Alexandra Wilkis Wilson, cofounder of the five-million-member Gilt Groupe; keeper of 16,500 BlackBerry contacts

7. How to Not Sweat the Small Stuff 

The thing that's grand about spending your time thinking about the universe is that it makes you feel insignificant. I don't mean that in a bad way. If you understand that we've now discovered entire solar systems that contain planets similar to Earth, and that those are just the ones we know about, since most of the stars we've looked at are within about 300 light-years of Earth and the distance to the center of our galaxy is nearly 100 times that--then you realize that the laundry you've left undone and the dumb thing you said yesterday are about as significant as slime mold.

--Alyssa Goodman, professor of astronomy, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics

8. How Not to Embarrass Yourself at Karaoke 
Warm up all day. Start by counting aloud when you wake. Later, laugh out loud; we laugh higher than we talk, so you'll be activating your upper register.

Lubricate your voice, especially if you're nervous (stress can dry out your vocal cords). Half an hour before you sing, eat a little bread soaked in olive oil.

Breathe from your diaphragm. You'll generate the air you need to produce a melodious tone. Inhale through your nose and push your belly button out. Exhale and let your navel go back in.

Feel free to change keys. Even the pros sing in a lower register when their voice gets tired.

Sing with joy, from your heart, and no one will care how you sound.

--Debra Byrd, vocal coach for The Voice and vocal producer for The Next: Fame Is at Your Doorstep

9. How to Make New Friends--at Any Age 

I tell my patients, "Food, alcohol, and drugs are no substitute for a relationship." If you're lonely, do something about it. If you love the arts, take a course at your local community college. And if you can't find a place to get involved, create one. Besides seeing patients several times a week, I'm thinking about starting a group where immigrants and refugees can talk about their feelings. It's important to be part of a community!

--Hedda Bolgar, 103-year-old practicing psychoanalyst and cofounder of the Hedda Bolgar Psychotherapy Clinic, in Los Angeles

10. How to Forgive Yourself 

You have to find a way forward. You can say, "I'm going to work to improve myself so I never hurt another person that way." And then you need to atone, to make the lesson you learned mean something. Do this, and you will be able to look in the mirror again.

--Jennifer Thompson, rape victim whose testimony sent the wrong man to prison for ten years

11. How to Tell a Secret 

Find someone who revealed something similar and survived, and talk to them about how they did it. No matter what your secret is, someone out there shares it.

Make sure the first person you tell will accept you and your secret--you don't want to take a risk right away. 

Be short and sweet. All I had to say to get my point across was "Dad, I'm gay."

--Randy Phillips, airman and formerly anonymous video blogger who came out to his dad after the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell 

12. Simple Ways to Look Polished

Start with a great haircut, neat nails, and well-shaped eyebrows (if eyes are the windows to the soul, eyebrows are the frames). Invest in a tailor--and in a few no-fail items that will help you look pulled together: a crisp white shirt, a pencil skirt, a great-fitting shift dress (just add shoes and go!), a tissue-weight scarf, and the perfect jacket. Whether it's a black blazer with a structured shoulder and nipped-in waist or a little leather jacket that looks great over anything, the right jacket projects confidence. And isn't that what polished really means?

--Adam Glassman, O creative director 

13. How to Let Go of Anger

Anger is like a storm rising up from the bottom of your consciousness. When you feel it coming, turn your focus to your breath. Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body. Then look at, or think of, the person triggering this emotion: With mindfulness, you can see that she is unhappy, that she is suffering. You can see her wrong perceptions. You can see that she is not beautiful when she says things that are unkind. You can also see that you don't want to be like her. You'll feel motivated by a desire to say or do something nice--to help the other person suffer less. This means compassionate energy has been born in your heart. And when compassion appears, anger is deleted.

--Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk and author of Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames

14. How to Say Goodbye to a Loved One 

First and most important: Meet the dying person where she is. She may be in denial, and denial is a fabulous crutch. You don't pull a crutch out from under somebody. Try to validate the feelings behind the denial. So imagine your aunt says, "Let's reserve a house at the lake this summer. I loved the weeks we used to spend there." You don't rush out to make a reservation; you reminisce with her about those good times. She's living in memories much kinder than her reality.

But let's say she tells you, "You know, I'm not going to live much longer." The door's open. Be honest, direct. Tell her you hate that this is happening. Tell her it mattered that she was here. Tell her how she enriched your life, that she won't be forgotten. This is no time to pussyfoot. For God's sake, don't tell her she looks great, or that she'll pull through. Pretending creates a chasm of loneliness for the dying. Can you imagine if you were in labor, and no one in the room would acknowledge that you were giving birth?

Toward the end, dying people tend to withdraw. You know how when you drop a pebble in a pond, the rings ripple out? For a dying person, the rings go in. It doesn't matter what's happening in politics or sports or the next room. Eventually all that matters is I'm hot. I'm cold. I love you. Do you love me? At that point, all that's required is your presence. Be quiet. Put your hands on hers. That's it.

--Maggie Callanan, hospice nurse since 1981 and coauthor of the celebrated book Final Gifts

15. How to Know When to Quit

After my first book was published in 2000, I spent two and a half years writing a novel. But it never felt right. I didn't even name it--it was the poor, misshapen beast child I kept hidden under my bed. Then I showed it to my agent. "None of the things you do well are in evidence here," she said. I was devastated, then relieved: I had failed, and now I could stop. If you don't feel a shiver of excitement or fear, if there's no emotional risk involved, let it go. You can't discount how hard it will be to leave your bad marriage or stop writing your bad book, but if you're unhappy, nothing can get better as long as the status quo stays the status quo. 

--Elissa Schappell, author of Blueprints for Building Better Girls

16. How to Listen Better

Start by doing everything you can to fire up the "mirror neurons" in your brain, which mimic what others are experiencing. You can subtly imitate the other person's posture, even match the pace and depth of their breathing. Your words can also mirror what the other person is telling you. For example, you might say, "What I'm hearing is that it distresses you when your husband wears his tiara in public" or "Wow, I can tell just from your voice that you're under serious pressure." Don't add advice or commentary--just reflect. If you simply must add something, ask the speaker to disconfirm what you say. In other words, ask to be told where you're mistaken--and mean it. "I'm thinking it's not so much that you're embarrassed as that you want a tiara of your own--am I wrong about that?" Do not ask to be told that you're right; it turns a listening ear into a bid for authority, and no one will want to talk to you then. 

--Martha Beck, O's resident life coach and author of Finding Your Way in a Wild New World

RELATED: 5 Big Fat Beauty Lies 

17. How to Get Past Emotional Pain

Everything we experience--no matter how unpleasant--comes into our lives to teach us something. To move on from something difficult, look for the lesson. Start by asking yourself: "If this is the way things are supposed to be, what can I learn from it?" Think about how you may have contributed to the painful experience, or if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Often we don't realize the lesson because we'd rather avoid reliving the pain. But once you allow yourself to reflect on the sadness, anger, guilt, or shame you've been hiding, those feelings will begin to subside. Yes, someone hurt you. Once you've forgiven them and let go, you can move forward and begin creating the life you desire.

18. How to Laugh at Life 

The tap water hits a spoon in the sink and sprays you. You pull a window shade and it just keeps going and going. You can't roll up a garden hose in any dignified way. You have to become a connoisseur of these events-"Wow, look at that, that's great." You have to hope that a higher power is saying, "That was a good one!" And that you're sharing the divine pleasure it's taking in your misfortune.

20. How to Have More Fun Having Sex 

Sex researchers have found that one of the biggest turn-ons for women is feeling desired. So believing that you're desirable is key. Choose a part of your body you admire. It might be your eyes, your hair, the curve of your calves. Now focus on that part in your mind and "see" it as your partner would see it. It may feel silly, but imagine he's thinking, "Wow, I want her so bad." And remember: You don't have to wait until you're in the mood. Sometimes you just need to get started and the mood will follow.

--Gail Saltz, MD, author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life 

LUB PAJ NTSHUA NPLAIM DAWB

Lub Paj Ntshua Nplaim Dawb - Nyob Rau Lub Caij Christmas Rau Xyoo Kawg


Tus sau yog Ted Vang

Muaj ib hnub…uas yog hnub ua ntej Christmas Day, muaj ib tug txiv neej tos… txog hnub uas yuav luag kawg nws mam li mus yuav khoom plig rau hnub Christmas rau nws cov neeg uas txheeb ze. Thaum nws mus txog tom lub khw yuav khoom nws pom tau tias neeg mas coob li coob xwb. Nws tig mus rau sab twg los yeej tsis tau kev mus li. Nws chim siab heev thiab xav tias ua cas cov neeg no yuav tos kom txog hnub kawg mam li mus yuav khoom xwb los ua cas. Nws hais rau nws tus kheej tias “kuv ces yeej tsis muaj hnub kuv yuav txeem tau mus yuav cov khoom plig rau hnub Christmas hlo li os”.


Nws xav rau nws tus kheej hais tias txawm nws yuav qe nws lub qhov muag thiab pw ntawm lub khw no txog tag kis los ntshe neeg yeej yuav tsis ploj tag li. Chim nws siab heev nws thiaj li txeem tau nkag mus rau tom ib kem uas lawv muag cov khoom ua si rau cov menyuam yaus. Thaum nws mus txog ntawm kem muag khoom ua si rau cov menyuam yaus ntawd, nws pom ib tug menyuam tub muaj hnub nyoog li 7 xyoo tuav rawv ib tug menyuam yaas ua yog cov baby doll uas cov menyuam ntxhais nyiam heev. Nws nyob deb tsawv ntsia mus pom tus menyuam tub ntawv tuav rawv tus baby doll, thiab ua lub ntsej muag quaj dhi, tu siab thiab ntshaus heev…pom tus menyuam tub ntawv plhws tus baby doll ntawv cov plob hau uas ci ci thiab zoo zoo nkauj mus los, thiab khawm tus baby doll ntawv ze ze hauv nws xub ntiag ruaj ruaj tsis tso. Tus menyuam tub ntawv lub ntsej muag tu tu siab thiab mluas heev li. Ces txawm muaj ib poj niam laus li 65 xyoo los nug tus menyuam tub ntawv hais tias “Me tub, ua cas koj yuav khawm tus baby doll ko ruaj ua luaj thiab ua cas zoo li koj tu tu siab heev li na, es koj niam thiab txiv dua twg lawm” Tu menyuam tub thiaj li teb rau tus poj niam laus ntawv hais tias: “Niam tais, twb yog kuv xav yuav tus menyuam yaas uas zoo zoo nkauj no rau kuv niam nqa mus rau kuv tus muam xwb, vim kuv paub hais tias nws nyiam heev li, tab sis thov txim ntau es koj puas paub kuv cov nyiaj no puas txaus them rau tus menyuam baby doll no os” Tus niam tais laus ntawv txawm hais rau tus menyuam tub ntawv hais tias “Me tub, koj cov nyiaj nws tsis txaus them rau tus baby doll no, tab sis koj txhob mus qhov twg thiab nyob tos kuv li 5 feeb tej, tib pliag no kuv mam li rov los”. Tus txiv neej ntawv saib na has tus niam tais laus ntawv txawm ncig ncig ces cia

li ploj lawm tsis pom rov los. Thaum no, nws thiaj li xav paub tias yog vim li cas es tus menyuam tub ntawv thiaj li yuav nyiam tus baby doll ntawv ua luaj li thiab nws saib tus menyuam tub ntawv mas nws ntsej muag ntshaus ntshaus, thiab tuav rawv tus baby doll ntawv tos tus niam tais laus ntawv saib nws puas rov qab los xwb. Tus txiv neej ntawv thiaj li mus nug tus menyuam tub me me ntawv hais tias: “Me tub, koj xav tau tus menyuam baby doll ko mus rau leej twg na lov…uas cas nws yuav ntxim nyiam ua luaj li” Tus menyuam tub thiaj li teb rau tus txiv neej ntawv hais tias: “Twb yog kuv xav tau nws mus rau kuv tus muam, thaum ua ntej Christmas, nws ntseeg tias hnub Christmas no mas Santa Claus yuav tsum nqa tus menyuam baby doll no los rau nws xwb” Tus txiv neej ntawv thiaj hais rau tus menyuam tub hais tias: “Koj tsis txhob txhawj mas lov, vim Santa Claus yeej yuav tsum nqa kom tau tus baby doll no los rau koj tus muam xwb xwb li la ma” Tus menyuam tub ntawv thiaj teb rau tus txiv neej ntawv nrog lub suab uas tu siab heev thiab ntshaus ntsho hais tias: “Tab sis tu siab heev tias tam sim no ntshe Santa Claus yuav tsis muaj peev xwm nqa mus rau nws lawm na. Kuv yuav nqa tus baby doll no mus rau kuv niam pab nqa mus rau nws saum ntuj ceeb tsheej, vim kuv txiv hais rau kuv hais tias kuv tus muam nws twb mus rau saum ntuj ceeb tsheej lawm, es kuv niam los yuav lawv nws qab mus sai sai no thiab. Kuv ntseeg hais tias tej zaum kuv niam thiaj li yuav nqa tau nrog nws mus rau kuv tus muam saum ntuj ceeb tsheej no na” Thaum lub sij hawm no, tus txiv neej ntawv lub plawv yuav luag nres, thiab ua rau nws lub ntuj thiab teb kiv pes lees thiab tsis paub xyov yuav teb li cas rau tus menyuam tub ntawv li. Thiab, ua ntej thaum uas nws teb tus menyuam tub ntawv, uas nws twb tsis paub tias xyov yuav hais li cas li, tub menyuam tub txawm tig rov los ntsia nws thiab hais tias: “Tag kis no, kuv hais rau kuv txiv hais tias thov kom kuv txiv hais rau kuv niam kom niam tsis txhob rawm maj mus es tos kuv tuaj tom khw no rov mus txog tso es yog niam yuav mus no los mam cia niam mus no”

Ces tus menyuam tub ntawv txawm thau tau nws ib daim duab zoo nkauj heev uas thaij thaum nws luag ntxhi thiab zoo zoo siab heev nrog rau nws txoj kev ntxim hlub heev hauv nws lub hnab tshos los thiab hais tias: “Kuv xav kom kuv niam nqa daim duab no nrog nws mus, es kuv niam thiaj li yuav nco tau kuv thiab tsis hnov qab txog kuv vim kuv hlub kuv niam thiab nco nws heev li na, kuv yeej tsis xav kom kuv niam ncaim mus li, tab sis kuv txiv hais rau kuv hais tias kuv niam yuav tsum tau ncaim wb mus nrog kuv tu muam nyob saum ntuj ceeb tsheej no” Ces tus menyuam tub ntawv txawm tig rov qab mus saib tus menyuam baby doll uas nws tuav rawv yam li uas nws tshua heev li. Thaum no ces tus txiv neej ntawv yeej tsis nco xyov yog nws nyob rau lub ntuj twg li lawm. Tom qab uas nws hnov tus menyuam tub ntawv cov lus tag, nws xav rau nws tus kheej tias yog vim li case s huab tais ntuj thiaj li yuav rau txim rau tus menyuam tub no npaum li no. Nws thiaj li thau hlo nws lub hnab nyiaj tawm los thiab rub hlo tau ob peb daim nyiaj hauv nws lub hnab nyiaj los…thiab hais rau tus menyuam tub ntawv hais tias: “Oh…muab koj lub hnab nyiaj los wb rov qab saib zoo zoo dua ib zaug ntxiv saib tej zaum koj yeej muaj nyiaj txaus yuav tus baby doll no lawm kuj tsis paub…cia kuv nrog koj suav koj cov nyiaj saib yom”…. Lub sij hawm no, tus txiv neej ntawv thiaj li nyiag muab nws cov nyiaj ntsaws rau hauv tus menyuam tub ntawv lub hnab nyiaj. Tus menyuam tub ntawv thiaj teb hais tias: “Ua li ntawv, cia wb rov muab kuv cov nyiaj suav dua ib zaug ntxiv saib nws puas txaus yom” Tus menyuam tub txawm rov qheb dua nws lub hnab nyiaj me me thiab suav cov nyiaj dua ib zaug ntxiv. Tus menyuam tub thiaj tig los hais rau tus txiv neej ntawv hais tias: “Tus txiv ntxawm, kuv twb tsis yog muaj nyiaj txaus them rau tus baby doll no xwb, kuv tseem muaj nyiaj seem txaus yuav ib lub paj ntshua nplaim dawb rau kuv niam thiab ho...thiab tsis tag li ntawv xwb, nag hmo ua ntej thaum kuv pw na…kuv tau thov rau huab tais ntuj hais tias kom nws pab kom tau ib qhov nyiaj txaus rau kuv yuav tus menyuam yaas baby doll no rau kuv tus muam…tab sis kuv txaj txaj muag thov ntau tshaj ntawv…tiag tiag mas hauv kuv lub siab kuv xav thov kom huab tais ntuj pab kom tau kuv yuav tus menyuam baby doll thiab ib lub paj ntshua nplaim rau kuv niam vim kuv paub tias kuv niam nyiam lub paj ntshua nplaim dawb heev li”

Tus menyuam tub ntawv rov qab hais dua hais tias: “Ua tsaug os Huab Tais Ntuj…ua tsaug uas koj tseem muaj lub siab dawb thiab siab zoo thiab pab kuv zaum no” Tom qab ntawv li ob peb feeb ces tus txiv neej ntawv txawm pom tus niam tais laus uas los nrog tus menyuam tub ntawv tham ua ntej rov qab los…tab sis tus menyuam tub ntawv zoo zoo siab ces nqa hlo nws lub hnab nyiaj me me thiab tus menyuam yas baby doll ntawv dhia dhia mus them lawm. Tus txiv neej ntawv tsis muaj peev xwm yuav tshem tau tus menyuam tub me me ntawv tus duab thiab txoj kev xav tawm ntawm nws lub zeem muag hlo li. Tus txiv neej ntawv yuav tau tag nrho cov khoom uas nws tuaj yuav thiab thaum nws rov los txog tsev, nws yeej tsis muaj peev xwm yuav hnov qab tau tus menyuam tub ntawv li. Tus txiv neej ntawv thiaj li nco tau tias nws pom xov xwm hauv TV ob hnub dhau los lawm tias muaj ib tug tib neeg qaug cawv tsav tsheb mus nrau ib lub tsheb raug ib tug menyuam ntxhais me me tag sim neej, thiab ib tug niam tsev tseem hluas raug mob hnyav heev, thiab sab heev pw tom tom tsev kho mob tsis paub hais tias nws puas yuav zoo taus li. Tsis tag li ntawv xwb, xov xwm tseem hais tias tej zaum tus poj niam hluas uas raug mob hnyav heev ntawv tsev neeg yuav txiav txim siab rho nws txoj yaas ua pa tawm vim cov kws kho mob hais tias nws yeej yuav zoo tsis taus li lawm. Tus txiv neej ntawv xav rau nws tus kheej hais tias…eb…yog li ntawv tsev neeg uas raug txoj kev txom nyem thiab tawm hauv xov xwm TV ntawv puas yuav yog tus menyuam tub ntawv tsev neeg ne… Ob hnub dhau los ces nws thiaj li nyeem pom hauv daim ntawv xov xwm (news paper) hais tias tus niam tsev hluas uas raug mob ntawv tau tag sim neej lawm. Yog li no tus txiv neej ntawv thiaj li cheem tsis tau nws tus kheej thiab hlub tus menyuam tub ntawv heev li nrog rau nws niam thiab tus menyuam ntxhais, nws thiaj li yuav tau ib lub paj ntshua nplaim dawb thiab mus saib tus poj niam hluas ntawv ntawm nws qhov mortuary/funeral. Thaum nws mus txog nws thiaj li nqa lub paj mus tso rau ntawm tus poj niam ntawv ib sab hleb thiab thaum nws ntsia hauv lub hleb ces thiaj pom tus poj niam hluas ntawv tuav rawv ib lub paj ntshua nplaim dawb ntawm nws sab tes, thiab tus baby doll saum nws lub hauv siab. Tus txiv neej ntawv tu siab heev thaum nws pom li ntawv, nws thiaj li tau tawm mus nraum zoov mus quaj twj ywm, thiab thov rau huab tais ntuj dua ib zaug uas yog zaum kawg rau tus poj niam hluas ntawv hnub uas nws nyob rau hauv lub ntiaj no.

Zaum no, nws tau pauv tag tus txiv neej ntawv lub neej, kev xav txog tib neeg hauv lub ntiaj teb no thiab txhua yam uas nws ib txwm xav hauv nws lub neej dhau los, vim txoj kev hlub uas ib tug menyuam tub me me muaj rau nws niam thiab nws tus muam. Yog tsis vim yog ib tug neeg qaug cawv thiab tseem los tsav tsheb saum kev los tsoo nkawv, tej zaum tus menyuam tub ntawv niam thiab nws tus muam tseem yuav muaj txoj sia nyob rau hauv lub ntiaj teb no txog hnub uas kawg nkaus li nkawv txoj hmoo. Txoj sia hauv lub ntiaj teb no nws nyias ntsais npaum li ib daig ntawv los yog ib daim nplooj xwb. Ib feeb xwb ces…nws twb pauv tag ib paus tsav yam uas nws muaj tshwm sim hauv lub ntiaj nteb no lawm. Tsis tag li ntawv, tus neeg uas nws haus cawv qaug thiab tau mus tsoo lwm tus los tau poob tag ib puas tsav yam ntawm nws lub neej thiab.

Happy Holiday

Yikes... this morning so many friends, family members and people are calling me to see if I'm alright as they heard a rumor that I was arrested and jailed for sponsoring a bride from Laos...haaaaaa...this rumor is completely untrue, unreal and so not even close to anything that I'd even considered or stand for. Let's help me put this untrue rumor aside and focus on how all of us modern and young Hmong can do to help all Hmong in all corners of the world including those young Hmong children from Laos. The rumor stated that I was involved in an illegal sponsoring of a bride from Laos is completely untrue and against everything that I stand for. I love my wonderful wife and 4 of our children very much and would not even dare to do anything like that. I have a large and extended families living in several continents or should I say countries. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated rumor has forced me to do so. Please help me to shut this sort of rumors and help to build a credible Hmong society again.

PLEASE READ….I THINK IT IS WORTH SHARING…..

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served
dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She
sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly
I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her
anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I
drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then
tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with
me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources
and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall
how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had
any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His
words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room,
then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I
lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman
who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and
sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I
didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month
slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit
me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came
in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him,
seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part
of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like
our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her
in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change
my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,
Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me,
astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She
said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't
value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other
any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,
I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These
create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness
in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those
little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage!